Words hurt

 People say "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me". This is a lie. Words can be the strongest of weapons. Words can kill.

Every day the responses are the same when I ask each kid "Do you know I love you? Do you know you are important? Do you know you are amazing? Do you know you are beautiful?"

After years of doing this, it's usually a hurried and sometimes annoyed "Yes mommy I know." The other day Brixton stopped and said "Mom I know. But why do you ask me that all the time?"

I wanted to share with everyone what I told him and what I have told my other children when they ask. Because this is important. If you dont believe these things please start telling yourself them even if you have to look in mirror everyday for the next 5 years and say it until you believe it. (If you have been to our home "You are beautiful" is in vinyl on all the mirrors). Please also tell your children. Trust me when I say it can lead to so many issues if they dont know these things. Watching my husband not believing these things about himself is so hard and with knowing how I felt not believing these things I knew from the moment I had my oldest I would make sure they knew.

I tell them sometimes even several times a day because I want them to know. I want them to know without any doubt they are amazing and loved. That they are beautiful. I want them to know because I know how it feels to not be told this ever so when I was told the opposite I believed it. When I met

Josh

at 16 and he told me I was beautiful I laughed in his face and didn't believe it. Him as my witness, for years each time he told me I would respond back with "No Im not". It wasn't until this past year I now respond with "thank you".

I was told I was ugly and stupid and called horrible names from the time I was in kindergarten, whether the person was saying it about my red hair or my freckles I was told constantly. Some even took time out of their day to write it in my year book in high school, to sadly even grown adults over the last few years telling me the same crap, going out of their way to let me know what they think of the way I look. The second I could wear makeup or dye my hair when I was a kid, I caked it on and tried so hard to not look like me. Because I thought maybe then people would like me. Maybe then I would fit in.

I wish so badly I had known what I know now. So that it didn't give them any power. So that they couldn't bring me down to where they obviously were at. People have to be pretty sad to say these things to someone and want them to hurt like they do. Sometimes hurt people choose to hurt people. Sometimes hurt people choose different. I choose to empower. I want my husband and children to know so when someone tells them otherwise they never ever question it because they have a different truth.

Please tell yourself the real truth. You are loved. You are amazing. You are important. You are beautiful. EVEN if someone is telling you otherwise DONT believe them!

*********This picture I posted a few years ago With this explanation*********

Unpacking and going through yearbooks, almost EVERY single thing written by boys in every single book had something to do with Fire crotch, I hate you, your ugly, stay stupid, you stupid mormon, etc. This is why I hated school and hated myself.