Body Shame/Trauma part 3 LEGS

 Body shame/trauma part 3 LEGS

I grew up hearing from kids at school that I had thick thunder thighs and shouldn't wear shorts. That I was to white, to many freckles and moles. I hardly wore shorts as it was because of that but then was publicly yelled at and shamed at 12 years old by an adult for wearing shorts to one of my first church activities. That never made any sense to me at that age because we could wear swimsuits to a church activity and pool without shorts but shorts to the store and school was bad and somehow made me unworthy.

Over the years, society and media also told me my thighs were gross if I had stretch marks. After 8 pregnancies and 100+ lbs of excess weight I have a lot of stretch marks and loose skin. So its no surprise that with that and what I had been taught in religion and society, I hated my legs and I never wore shorts, but never verbalized exactly why to my kids.

Last year my sweet oldest daughter started crying about her legs one day saying she didn't want to wear skirts/shorts anymore but didn't know why. It immediately brought me back to all the things that had happened to me when I was her age and I knew even though I had been resisting working through this, it was time to work through the trauma around my legs.

As I started personally working through this, I knew that I needed to just go buy a pair of shorts and wear them as I worked through the trauma no matter what anyone else said. Without saying anything I just wore them and it helped my daughters as they saw me wearing shorts. I wore them in public last summer several times a week, even though I cried on the inside filled with anxiety and terror. Fear that someone was going to say something, tell me how my legs and skin were gross, yell at me like before about how I shouldn't show them because I was somehow responsible for what others thought when they saw my legs, fear that someone was going to point out my stretch marks, fear that someone was going to tattle on me and I was going to be reprimanded because I was somehow evil now.

I know that all sounds silly consciously thinking that would actually happen, but those things I had been taught and had happen in the past caused trauma and the aftermath of trauma is very real in the body and subconscious.

So even though I was a freaking adult guess what?

When

Josh

tagged me in a post last summer of me wearing shorts a little above my knee after I had gotten back from taking the kids to a summer water thing, several of those things actually happened. Messages asking about what I could possibly be thinking, how I was being a bad example and not trustworthy anymore as they asked me why I wasn't wearing THEIR choice of underwear. (NOT APPROPRIATE!)

Seriously yuck!

So as I continued working through the trauma this last year and receiving more messages like that, halfway through this summer I knew I needed to get shorter shorts.

(Wearing in this picture and showing my stretch marks!)

Shorter shorts meant more stretch marks, veins, loose skin and cellulite seen. Shorter shorts I was taught meant that I was "asking for it (disrespect)" and "disgusting as I was being immodest". But I wore them anyways and continued to heal despite the comments and shaming I was getting because 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇.

How about we STOP shaming and judging bodies and peoples clothing/underwear asap!

I was not wearing shorts because of a mid life crisis, to rebel or to get lustful attention like so many have assumed because that is what so many have been taught shorts meant. I choose to wear shorts because I NEEDED to in order to let my body know it wasn't shameful and to heal. I needed to let my body know she was not gross,and that I accepted my body, stretch marks, cellulite, loose skin and all, even if others didn't and it has been FREEING!

So next time you see someone wearing something YOU wouldn't wear for whatever reason, that is fine, keep it to yourself and just don't wear it. But don't for the love of God shame someone, judge them and/or message them and ask them why they aren't wearing the underwear you choose to wear. Just don't. You live your life and let them live theirs. It is actually quite simple!

If after reading this you are still wanting to be a Shaming Simon or Stella and have the urge to judge my personal reasoning for wearing shorts, and/or preach to me about how it's a woman's responsibility to keep men's thoughts under control, tell me how gross legs with stretch marks are, how after extreme weight loss loose skin should be covered, etc. just unfriend me now. I don't have time anymore for your shame, judgements or lectures about my body, skin, choice in clothing/underwear, religion, etc.

𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘵, 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱