The one area I resisted touching when we went through every room and purged this past month, was at the foot of our bed. I have kept at least something there, whether a box of things to go through or just random clutter. That spot was where Onyx used to sleep and I finally cleaned that spot yesterday.
It has been a year now since Onyx and Jenga left us. I still somedays expect to see them come around the corner. I miss their faces. I miss their fur. I miss holding them.
Jenga loved being held and let the kids pick him up and carry him around, especially in the end. Onyx was a dog that loved being more of a protector and hardly let anyone hold her. She loved to be pet but being held she would fight you on. That last day she let EVERY single one of us hold her. I have beautiful pictures of her letting us and each of the kids hold her. I feel like she knew she was going and it was her way of saying goodbye. I am forever grateful for that as the kids needed that and she knew I needed it as well.
So this morning I have spent crying for many reasons/emotions. Crying because that space by our bed is now empty meaning she is gone. Crying in happiness looking through pictures from their puppy ages up until we said goodbye. So many wonderful memories. Crying because future babies will never know these wonderful dogs but so grateful that we had them for 15 years for our kids to grow up with.
Here is the first post when they got their angel wings last year:
Here is their beautiful box post:
It is okay to cry and okay to grieve even if its been a year.
There is no rule to "get over it" in a certain time frame.
It is so healing to feel the feelings. If you feel you need to grieve over something, it is okay, even if it was from years ago. Cleaning out our home this past month triggered alot of things I will be posting about soon but it was and is also so healing as I continue to work through it.
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