Hiding/Contemplating/Clarity

I was trying out my new phone/camera and as I went to delete the pictures I knew I had to put them in a sequence because it showed perfectly how this month has looked/felt for me.

Hiding/Contemplating/Clarity

August 2020 started off with me going into hiding. Like big time!

Several traumatic things happend within days of each other and it felt like it was exploding everything out that I had been carrying. It triggered so many past things I had resisted working through and it consumed me. I went into a very bad mental head space and I felt like I got knocked back hundreds of steps into a mindset that I haven't been in for years.

One result of this, I woke up one morning after one of the traumatic events and told Josh I was done with my business. I was done promoting, I was done talking about what I had done for my success and the only thing I would do related to it was my current commitments to current clients, my mastermind group, and if people happend to have direct links to purchase anything else, then it was meant to be.

So, I archived my 4K+ member business group, I removed links from my website and stopped posting and doing IG/FB stories as well as stopped moving forward with all the things I had been working on and planning for the last few months.

The desire was gone, the energy was gone and I felt numb. I kept looking for sadness but instead I was angry at how I was feeling and all the things that were being triggered.

Josh

asked me every day if I was okay, and if its what I really wanted and I couldn't honestly answer.

3+ weeks went by and last week I finally stopped running away from it all and I contemplated.

I finally went over what I really want and what I dont want moving forward. What I had been doing and allowing that wasn't working. I finally looked at the triggers and why I felt the way I did, why I was consumed by what had happend, why I let it consume me and finally deciding that feeling this way was not what I wanted and I couldn't let it go on longer.

My mastermind group got a ton of the details last week on the live coaching and healing I did, and I could see and feel as well as everyone else, my energy just change as I shared some of what had happend and had so many realizations for myself and others while live. This also showed my private clients in real time, that I am human and its a constant choice in moving forward. That just because I fell doesn't mean I failed. I also went over big time on not giving your power away to other people and circumstances like I did for almost an entire month because It is definitely NOT worth it!

Ending the month today, I have clarity and feel renewed! I have spent this past week making the conscious choice to be present and in my power. I feel back to how I ended July but even stronger and ready to be seen even more! August was not a set back, it was just a huge learning experience for sure! I am ready September!