Safe to be loud and proud of all I have accomplished

I mentioned in my last post that I had looked at what was working and not working for me in regards to my business and being seen, and what was triggering me and why.

One of the many things that came up that I want to share is this...........

What wasn't working for me was feeling fear and anxiety in judgement of my success, as well as deep guilt. What was triggering me was shame but also anger at myself for taking on the responsibility of how others would feel instead of owning it!

I had posted that before June had ended I had hit 6 figures for the year 2020.
I didn't share that June alone was a $28K+ month because I felt ashamed saying that, so I definitely didn't share that July was almost a $40K month.

I was feeling so much fear in what others would think if they heard that.
The rejection and judgement and the comments of being a show off, too prideful, "you shouldn't talk about money", "you're in it just for the money", "how can you celebrate when others are struggling", "I can't be friends with you anymore", "you dont care about people because if you really cared you would give it all away for free", etc
(I sadly have heard these all before from my money/business success to my weight release success)

I was also feeling guilty that I know so many who work their entire lives not to even make that amount in a year. Guilty that for years I remember my husband worked so hard, sometimes 2 jobs at a time at minimum wage to not make that a year and here I was having a blast and making that easily in a month.

So I felt shame and I let it consume me. 
Then I felt shame in not owning my success.
I felt shame in not sharing it to show what is possible.
Then I felt anger towards myself at worrying about what others would think.

When I reached that moment of clarity, I had to remind myself that its not my job to change others mindsets or be responsible for the way they treat or think towards others. 

If people want to be angry and bitter at my success, I have to let them.
If people want to judge and shame me because I make money for what I do, I have to let them. 
If people want to delete and block me and reject me, I have to let them.

WOW even after working through it this past week, its still hard even just typing that last sentence because it triggered so much trauma from being rejected in the past, but at the same time it is so freaking FREEING!!!!

So I move forward choosing now to remind myself that I am safe to be loud and proud of all I have accomplished regardless of how others respond because I am choosing to no longer take on the responsibly of others. 

People can be triggered by me and leave, or be triggered and inspired.
I of course hope you choose to be inspired but farewell if you choose to leave. 

I just hope you all know again with knowing everything I have overcome, if you have followed me for years, that if I can do it, you can do it!